Wednesday, February 16, 2011

good help is not hard to find

it was ok, except that we don't have any lettuce or celery or backup milk or sprouts or pretty much anything healthy because of an overly helpful man in the bakery section of the grocery store.

i've always known that i look pathetic and helpless at the best of times, but at that moment i was lugging around two baskets of groceries because i'm consistently too dumb to get a cart and my arms were falling off a little bit and i guess it took the overall appearance of helplessness to the next level.

i was reaching for a loaf of country harvest flax bread and wishing i had a bread maker when a guy appeared out of nowhere and asked if i needed help.

i said no.

actually, i said no, thank you. polite smile. polite turnaway.

then i had to say it again as he reached for my grocery baskets.

i made a feeble attempt to collect my things and walk away, but he was too fast for me. he was now successfully, awkwardly, holding half of my groceries.

i had a moment of panic and the fleeting thought: i'm being robbed.

and then a moment of clarity as i remembered that i hadn't actually paid for any of this stuff yet.

i stretched out my hand gently towards "my" things. "thanks, i got it, i still have to hit the produce--"

but he appeared not to have heard me--and he snatched my groceries from me and carried them to the checkout. he was on a mission. it was like he was still trying to earn some sort of boy scout badge for helping people and his time was almost up.

and me, i had to kind of run and push through the crowd to keep up with his long-legged stride and by the time i caught up, my food was being rung through by a most depressed looking lady.

and i suppose that's ok, except that now we can't make salads.

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